We’ve all heard the children’s rhyme. I suspect we all wish it really was true. The truth is words are powerful. It’s easy to be hurtful or flippant or simply cruel. It’s even easier these days to do it in social media or texts or emails. You don’t have to be face to face with the person you are trying to tear down. You just do a hit and run and off on your merry way you go.
I was physically abused by my mother and older brother when I was younger. I didn’t fight back but I learned to have a terribly sharp tongue. I could reduce a person to anger or tears fairly easily. Sometimes, they wouldn’t even realize that I was mocking them even controlling them with my words.
It has been a very difficult habit to break. I’ve been working on it since I became a Christian and that was over forty years ago. Most of the time, I can control myself but every once in a while, those hateful thoughts and words tumble out of my mouth in sharp and hurtful ways.
I know when I am saying something that I shouldn’t. I wish I could claw those words back into my mouth. But, I can’t. Once they are out there, they have the ability to damage or even destroy someone. All because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
I’ve talked about my chatty behavior from steroids. That’s a whole different beast. I simply can’t stop talking at times and any filter I have had in the past seems to be gone. Thankfully, as the steroids are tapered down, this crazy talking spat is calming down as well. I look forward to the day when I can simply be silent and not feel that I have to share everything I am thinking about.
Hurtful words, though, are not chatty. They aren’t informative or any good thing. They are meant to hurt. To tear someone apart. To make them hurt, too, the way I am hurting inside.
I’ve found that when I do this, it is usually in retribution. Something I do when someone has done or said something that hurt me. I smack back with my mouth and say terrible things, which even if true (and they generally are), it isn’t up to me to point out.
Sadly, I know I am not alone in this. It seems we all have problems controlling our words. With the venues open to us, the vitriol gets spilled out to the world. The hurt grows, the hate grows, and then some individuals take action.
It happened this week in Pittsburg. Who knows where it will be next week? It seems that these awful and unimaginable events are becoming the norm. So much so that in less than a week, the news reporting of this heinous act has moved on.
How can that be?
Words produce emotions and emotions produce action. Those words can be uplifting and the resulting emotions and actions can be good. Too often, it is the opposite. The words are mean and destructive and the emotions and actions wreck unbelievable damage.
We need to walk ourselves back from the brink of disaster. Not just as a country but as a member of mankind. These events, while highly publicized here in the USA, are not limited to us by any means.
There is so much hate in this world. Simply pick a country and you will see the divisions within are mounting. Politics, religion, caste systems, social orders and more are the basis for hating your neighbor. For wishing them dead and gone. Wishes can turn to words and words to emotions and emotions can take action.
It’s easy to say it is the crazy people who do this. At some point those individuals let their hate craze their minds. I don’t want to try to get into their minds. I just want this type of behavior to stop.
I don’t know if it is because I am a Christian or if it is because I am simply a human. I do know that Jesus did not want us to hate. He wanted us to love one another, even if the other person was the opposite of me.
Without Jesus, that might be hard. For those of us who are Christ-followers, he promised that his yoke was easy and his burden light.
We could and should learn to love one another. We should not look at others and scream “Sinner!” just because those others sin a different way than we do. Because we are all sinners, even those of us who are saved.
Hate the sin and not the sinner has become a catch-phrase. Something people say out loud but rarely practice. Whether it is towards another Christian or an unbeliever, it is really the way we should view them. And don’t forget that you are a sinner, too.
Jesus didn’t forget. He knew all about you and me. He saw us at our worst and knew the full amount of the sins we would commit throughout our lives. He still loved us. He loved us more than life. How many of us can claim to follow in his footsteps with regard to this particular command?
I’ll keep trying and I hope you will too. Each time I say something hurtful or mean, I’ll repent and ask God to help me from making that mistake again. Left on my own, it will never happen. It’s only with God’s help, I can do this. So can you.
Ephesians 4:29-32
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.