There is so much need in the world. There is so much that needs to be fixed. We seek God’s face and we ask that he provide answers and solutions. We pray and we pray and we pray. Sometimes he gives us the answer that we look for and, sometimes, the answer is not what we want. Then there are the times when it seems like he isn’t listening and isn’t giving us any answer at all.
Is it that God doesn’t hear your prayer? Sometimes, it feels that way. There can be problems at work or problems with a family member. Finances can have you at a standstill. There can be lonely times when you want to have friends. There are times when the events in the world are crushing down on you. You may be looking for how to live your life according to God’s plan without having success. Perhaps, worst of all, is when illness or death are at your door.
I know that all of these things have been issues for me. It’s when times get hard that we instinctively turn towards God. That’s when we cry out for help.
When things are going great, we somehow think that it is through our own efforts. That God didn’t have his hand on us and it wasn’t him raining down love and blessings. There may be a cursory “thanks” in our prayers (especially at mealtime) but otherwise, we pat ourselves on the back, give ourselves a mental high-five and congrats. Then we go about our way, continuing on with what we want and what we think and what we do without stopping to give thanks and glory to God. We don’t ask if what we are doing is what God wants for us because, hey, we’re doing great!
Then it all crashes down. The cry that is lifted to heaven is “Why are you letting this happen to me?” It suddenly becomes all of God’s doing and no longer our own. We then ask God to fix things so we can continue our lives as we did before.
Is it any wonder that God doesn’t answer?
We haven’t thanked him for the good times. We haven’t given him real praise. We haven’t asked if what we “feel” is good to us is what he wants for us. We blame him when things go wrong. We want him to fix everything just right.
It reminds me of a little child who expects their father to take care of everything. The child who expects Dad to give them a level field to walk without any obstacles in the way. Dad is there to fix the boo-boos and make sure no hurts come our way.
That works well for a toddler. But just like a child is expected to grow and start making good decisions and choices so, also, are Christians supposed to grow in knowledge and wisdom. We are to stop being little children and start growing and functioning as part of the body of Christ. We have the jobs that God wants us to do and we use our life experiences to do them.
But we want to act like the toddler. It is easier to be given everything and not have to do the hard work. I’ve recently heard of a phrase that is being used to describe this. It is called lawnmower parents. These are parents who make the path smooth for their children. Seems like a great idea until those times when the parent either can’t or won’t do what is needed. In those times, those over-protected children (adults or otherwise) will have no skills to work through their issues on their own. In effect, the efforts of the parent to create a smooth and perfect life for their child has, instead, ruined the child for real life.
God won’t do that for his children. He knows that we have to stumble and fall and pick ourselves back up. He gives us the support and the love that we need in order to learn. He doesn’t do everything for us. He created everything for us but it is our job to live our lives for him not the other way around.
So, when we cry out in prayer, he hears us. He sometimes answers what we want to hear. When it is something that we don’t like, it is time to pull out the Bible and find out where and why we have gone astray. Why it is that what we are want to hear isn’t what we have heard.
Then there are the times when it seems like God ignores us. When we ask and we ask and we ask and nothing seems to happen. I’ve found that in those times, I need to look at what I am praying for. It has generally been that I am praying for the wrong thing. I keep forgetting that this world isn’t really about me. It is about God and his love and his glory and his grace. When I get my prayer life together and I start to pray for the right things, then God provides the answers that I seek. The answers may not be what I want or think I need but it is what God knows is right and just for me.
This type of “unanswered” prayer happens to me all the time. I suspect that is true of all of us. It was when my 18 year old son was ill with a harsh and acute form of leukemia that I first learned this lesson. For fifteen months, I prayed that God would heal him. It seemed like God was answering prayer. My son was ill, when into remission, relapsed and had a successful bone marrow transplant.
When things seemed to be going right, my prayer changed to asking God to use my son to bring glory to Jesus. I was upset that my prayer changed. I wanted to keep praying for healing but I could not change my prayer. Then I thought perhaps it meant that my son would become a preacher and show the glory of God to the world.
Then my son died of a massive brain infection caused by the suppression of his immune system.
It seemed like God wasn’t listening. My son was gone from me rather than healed. He wasn’t there to preach the gospel or for me to hold him in my arms like I wanted to do. He was in heaven with Jesus and, thankfully, out of the horrible pain he had been enduring.
It took months for me to realize that David’s death would be used to bring glory to God. That it would be up to me and others who knew him to tell his story to the world. So, when I thought that God wasn’t listening, he was busy answering my prayer. The answer wasn’t what I wanted when I wanted it. It wasn’t anything like what I thought it should be. What it was, was the answer that needed to be provided. It was the answer that was just and true. I had to grow enough to understand it and, once I did, it gave me both solace and a new perspective.
Since then, I’m careful about what I pray for. I look to the Bible to see what it is that God wants for me. My prayers are for needs and even desires but with the caveat that, even so, God’s will be done.
I still get answers that surprise me. There are times when no answer comes through. I have to slog my way through my trial. The difference is that I know that God is listening. I know that he has answered my prayer. It may seem that I am facing my trials by myself but in truth God is holding my hand. Just that understanding makes what seems unendurable, something that I can endure.
I’ve learned to trust God in good times and in bad. To trust him through those times when my life isn’t going very well. You see, for God, all time is his time. There isn’t good or bad times. That is in my mind. I need to trust him regardless of how I feel or think or what I want or what I think I need.
He has a plan that is unfolding and I am part of it. He will use my life and then, at the end, I will go home to the kingdom he has prepared for his children. That is the promise that we Christians can depend on. It is the ultimate answer to all of our prayers.
It’s easy to love God but not so easy to give him our trust. It is time for us all to learn to trust God even when it seems like he isn’t answering our prayers.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.