There’s nothing like being woken up at 3:42am. There’s really nothing like being woken up at 3:42am and being told by the Holy Spirit to pray for someone who has been vindictive and mean to you. Especially someone who has never met you and has created a fantasy persona about you on the Internet.
There are a number of individuals who heartily dislike me based on reviews I’ve written. They have been able to cull together a picture of me in their minds and that picture is based mostly on my love of God,my children and grandchildren as well as my enjoyment of reading and crafting. While there have been several such individuals, the most long standing is a lady I will refer to as G.
G. and I were both part of a reviewing program on a large internet store. On this store was a forum set up for people in the group (though it wasn’t limited to them and anyone could read and respond to the posts.) I rarely posted but once I had done so, this woman took offense at what I had to say.
Interestingly, all I had said was 1) my son passed away from leukemia at 18 and 2) my daughters were both strong young women who enjoyed the sciences and had overcome learning challenges to get to where they were. That one was a mechanical engineer and the other was getting her degree as a mathematics scientist. When other individuals on this forum empathized with me about my son, I responded by saying I would meet him in heaven one day.
I think it was this comment that burned into G. I knew nothing about her (though someone later exposed her personal information in an unkind manner.) From the moment of that particular post, G. has had a crusade against me where ever she posts, which is a dwindling number as forums, apparently, keep banning her from posting. When I moved to the top of this reviewing program’s list of high ranking reviewers, it apparently enraged G. beyond measure.
I don’t follow her around, but I did follow the reviewing group when the internet store recently dropped their forums. Sure enough, once again, G. was guaranteed to talk about me poorly whenever possible. Equally sure was that the authoritative statements she made about me were all false. What was funny was that she had no idea I was on this new forum, she was just trying to poison the group against me in general.
So, I guess one might understand that I didn’t feel too kindly about G. and her comments. They hurt and made me feel very badly both about G. and about myself. I never responded in a bad manner. When it first started, I invited her to have a reasonable discussion but that was no good. As I am not one to post on forums (certainly no more than a couple of handfuls in my life), I was able to ignore her and/or turn the other cheek easily. I was also pleased to see individuals who came to my defense.
So I was feeling very righteous and good about myself. That is until I heard a sermon which included a reference to loving and praying for your enemies. Well, three names came immediately to my mind (all from the internet store as it turns out) and I thought, seriously God, I have to pray for them? I am not responding to them, I’m not even thinking too badly of them. I have to love and pray for them as well?
I starting praying for them and especially G. She was sticking out for some reason. The other two were even more unpleasant to me and about me but one had suffered a traumatic brain injury in her twenties and the other was embroiled in both drug and satanic cultures. I could see that something outside of themselves was causing their issues.
G., on the other hand, had serious problems in her personal life. This became known when the other individual posted links to a newspaper article about G. being arrested and other information about her. I must admit that I read it. I was very sorry for her problems but I didn’t empathize with her. I had that lovely feeling you get when you want to say, what you reap is what you sow.
So, I prayed for these three and asked my husband to join me on occasion. However, it was always with my mind and intellect that I was responding, never with my emotions and heart. Kind of like when a child says they are sorry because their parent told them to do so. You know that it is just words and the child is not at all sorry for what they have done. So to, were my lip service prayers for these three.
Just last Sunday, which was Palm Sunday, a pastor at my church was preaching about God’s love for us. A love so great that He stepped down to earth, to live as a man among us. To endure the same temptations, scorn and abuse that we all have to deal with. And He, being fully God while at the same time fully man, was able to love those who treated Him so badly. He loved them so much, He was willing to step in and take their punishment for sin on His own body. He loved them even as they mocked Him, beat Him almost to the point of death, and ultimately, hung Him on a cross to die.
It made me stop and think about how I feel about my enemies. I must admit, I fall so fall short of this type of love, there may not be a known measurement small enough to categorize it.
It is Jesus’ kind of love that we are commanded show our enemies. After all, when Jesus died for us, we had all sinned and were all, because of sin, his enemies. We all abandoned Him, every single one of us. There He hung, with love for each of us in his heart and in His deeds. Even as He took our sin punishment of death and we denied Him, He never faltered or said, but God, they deserve to die for their own sins. Why should We make such a sacrifice for these sinners?
If you stop and think about the individuals you would die to protect, chances are good, like me, that most are relatives, perhaps children. Almost certainly not casual friends or neighbors. Definitely not those who are treating you poorly. How about a serial killer who tortures and murders children? What about someone like Hitler or Mao or Stalin? Absolutely not, right?
Jesus loved them and died for them, too. He would have taken the ultimate punishment if only one of them could be saved and the rest of the world lost.
I’m so glad that Jesus wasn’t like me. That He loved so much more and so much more freely. He didn’t take the attitude that you reap what you sow. If He had, I would be completely lost.
Back to the sermon… the pastor threw a statement at the end of it for each of us to pray for an individual that we disliked, even if the prayer wasn’t heartfelt. It struck me like a bolt that I was supposed to pray for G. Not the three women, just her. I was to pray with my heart and emotions and not just with my mind.
Once the sermon was over, I asked my husband who he was supposed to pray for. He responded, G. That was confirmation enough. We stopped what we were doing and starting praying for her. We have continued to pray for her both together and separately. This time, with more feeling that ever before.
I found out, around this time, that G. had been booted out of the reviewer forum. As to why,I have no idea; however, I knew that others had suffered her mocking as well and probably just got tired of dealing with her constant sniping. She was also being vilified (and deservedly so) at another forum that I know of.
Wednesday night (or more accurately, Thursday morning), at 3:42am, I woke up, saw the time and started to go back to sleep. The voice of God came into my mind with an urgent command. He said, Pray for G. I’ve learned the hard way, it is best to obey God immediately when He gives a command or request that is undeniable. He didn’t have to say it twice this time.
So, I starting praying for her. I have no idea what is going on in her life but I prayed for her deliverance from whatever it is and for her salvation. I prayed for her hurt and pain to go away. That she find the loving Savior to bring comfort to her life.
My prayers were different this time. They were loving and sincere as if she was my best friend. I was crying for her and wishing with my whole heart and mind that her eternal life could be saved. As suddenly as I woke up, I knew I was to stop praying and go back to sleep. I immediately fell asleep and slept through the rest of the night. I will continue to pray for her, but this time, with my whole heart.
Whether or not my prayers were effective for her so far, I may never know this side of heaven. I will continue praying for her fervently until I hear from her directly that my prayers have been answered.
The blessing I have personally received by listening to and obeying God is that I know that I have changed for the better. I don’t feel the way I did before. As Jesus commanded, I am learning to love and to pray for those who hurt me. I’m learning, bit by bit, to be more like Christ.
1 John 3:2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.